Is Johnny Cusack broke??

Is there any other reason (read that excuse) for his new flick, “Hot Tub Time Machine”?

hfautographed_high_fidelity_large_gifI am a Johnny Cusack fan; in fact, “his biggest fan”.

I have that in his own handwriting, on a copy of the DVD High Fidelity that I bought off E-bay in a charity auction.

Evidently when you pay ridiculous amounts of money for a flick you already own (and don’t even like) Cusack is willing to anoint you “his biggest fan”. 聽Look closely, there it is on the left . . . in his own hand. “To Trace, My Biggest Fan”

I’m certain to lose my crown if he reads this piece. 馃檪

There may be some die-hard Cusack Fans who remember the Cusack Cult Website I had when I was really infatuated with all things Cusack . . . I had every Cusack movie up to 1408.聽聽I lived on e-bay and amazon to make sure that I had all his vids.

I reviewed each and every one. 聽Lots of them were stinkers, but I really liked some of them: Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and聽Grosse Point Blank, which he co-wrote and co-produced.

And, I really liked America’s Sweethearts, for which many of his fans derided him as a sell out.

As proof of my ‘cultism’ I’ve written two screenplays for Cusack (The Neptune Man and NightWindWoman); I tried to talk his publicist 聽into an interview for the website for at least a year, complete with a fax of every review I wrote about him, and other seemingly encouraging words to get that damn interview. 聽(Long story, maybe later); I even bought a copy of聽The Davinci Code for him, and shipped it off to his production office with instructions that he had to do the film.

(Oh yeah, one can find ways to become incredibly annoying to other people.)

And, of course, he didn’t, Tom Hanks did, and then went on to do the sequel (crappy, by the way) Angels and Demons.

Really, Johnny, my聽advice聽is good . . . Tom Hanks, duh, is not doing stinkers like Hot Tub.

Somewhere along this point in the timeline Cusack got an injunction against a stalker, and I had friends who told me they literally were afraid to click the links to the articles because they were sure I’d finally pissed the guy off! 聽I聽disappointed聽them . . . she was not me.

Not even close. 聽I’d read some press he’d done about people on the internet (trust me it wasn’t complimentary) and I was more than a little agitated about the run around I got from the publicist who referred me to someone else, to schedule my interview, and they blew me off.

Why the hell didn’t the publicist blow me off?

I was bummed, irritated at the run around, and lost interest in the site, not to mention Cusack.

I did get one of his more recent flicks,聽Martian Child, which died when it was released, but it was a really, really sweet movie. Based on a true story (I’ve read) the only truth that Cusack wasn’t willing to emulate in the flick was the author’s homosexuality. NOT going to do the Gay thing, 聽(Too close to the truth, Johnny?) he had the script re-written for a straight guy who wanted to adopt a child. 聽Honestly, it would have been more believable if he’d left it alone. 聽I’ve never met a straight guy who would have gone to so much trouble with a troubled kid, and been so good at it.

And, Dammit, that was the real story.

Watch it. 聽Rent it. 聽Netflix it, or buy it at Amazon. 聽It is really good, it has Amanda Peet, who I love, and it is a good, sweet movie.

But this, Hot Tub Time Machine? Are you f~~n kidding me??

I am reminded of a friend from long ago, Buddy Maxwell, whom I met after he left the Marines just after Viet Nam. 聽He was/is a bubbly fun guy with an engaging, entertaining personality. 聽Off the wall, sometimes, and this would be that. 聽But he had an expression that comes to mind about this movie.

Dog Shit.

Not that I would use that phrase, mind you, but I will borrow it for this review, because there is no other way to describe how bad this movie is.

Surely the man is completely out of money.

And, likely to stay that way.

聽POSTSCRIPT 4.25.12 The Raven

I’m planning on seeing the Raven as soon as it hits town, perhaps Johnny will have redeemed himself with it.

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